also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Randomize
