Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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