so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
