it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
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