i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Sext me about skeletons
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
that is very illegal...i love you.
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