Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
