I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
