did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
