You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Randomize
