It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
