You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
