2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
