I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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