And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
