Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
even my farts smell like vagina
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So vagazzling was a success
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
