no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
