If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
