On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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