So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
