turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
