We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
