You're my little dorito
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
