I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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