I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
