sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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