I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
