ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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