thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Randomize
