ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
