Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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