i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
