So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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