I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
