Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
