she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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