kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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