Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize