what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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