I'm jealous of your bromance
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Randomize
