i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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