I showed him my bush... on skype.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
