Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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