That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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