My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
you will always have a special place in my vag
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
