Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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