When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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