she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
