Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize