You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
