I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
