I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
