I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
