So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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