You're completely useless in the revolution.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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