whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
